avayanox

that's what he said

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 20:39:01 GMT

Jed just told me,

"I'll skew your sense of right and wrong."

thank you, thank you.

more fabo convos

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 02:46:00 GMT

so i'm IMing with my step-sis again
and we're talking about the atrocities of bfs and gfs

and she makes the comment:

stepsis (10:43:17 PM): i like stuffed animals
stepsis (10:43:22 PM): they dont even poop

isn't she fantastic?

well this is a journal

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 23:48:10 GMT

Well, this is *live journal* so i figured now would be as good a time as ever to have a big 'ole rant fest. this is my form of ranting:

Today, my mom told me that i'm not worth the tuition they pay for my school.

i kinda sliced a chunk off my shin.

i'm not eating dinner tonight because i can't stand to put anything into my body that she's touched, and because i know how much food costs and i don't want to waste any more of her money.

done.

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 03:06:42 GMT

SO i just came back from the checkov play "the seagull" and had this conversation with my step-sis

me (10:52:13 PM): fucking seagulls
me (10:52:19 PM): *snigger*
step-sis (10:54:33 PM): lol so how were the fucking seagulls
me (11:01:50 PM): VERY depressing
me (11:01:57 PM): it was like a cross between jane austin and poe
me (11:02:06 PM): and i don't mean the one that's bumping uglies with tinkey winkey
step-sis (11:03:34 PM): yikes
me (11:04:00 PM): mmm
me (11:04:07 PM): i feel very poetic now

*that* is my mood

lazy thoughts

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 23:35:46 GMT

So I'm sitting here, reading NCIS fan fics, and i slide into that place i sometimes do where most of my skin feels kinda numb, and i can only feel things with my bones, where my brain feels condensed into such a small space behind my eyes and my eyes themselves are drifting in and out of focus and my lower back is sinking deep into the center of the earth and my thighs and knees seemingly rising towards the heavens. and i can feel myself floating on the edge of existence in a way that makes me stop breathing.

Apparently, lots of people try to find this place.

For some it's called "subspace" and is reached by being totally at another person's mercy and having enough adrenaline, dopamine, and endorphines running through you to remove you from reality all togather. Subs get this by being tied down and beaten, whipped, fucked, teased, and abused until their bodies can't take it any more and just surrender. I don't like pain.

Junkies use substances to get a "high" like this. they use hallucinogens to bring themselves out of reality and downers to calm them and make them not think about the consequences. Alcoholics drink themselves into a stupor. All of those things give me migraines.

Athletes work until their bodies produce these chemicals, or the rhythmic thudding of their shoes on pavement hypnotizes them and they can just loose themselves in the burn of their muscles. I have hip displasia, and can't do most exercises.

I've found a different way of fufiling my need for release. This complete relaxation. Trance in the background, my body positioned so that my blood can flow, but not easily to my brain, and casually letting my eyes drift over someone else's experiences and letting their euphoria and pain and please become one with my own.

In this moment, my inner muse is unleashed, and unless the spell is broken, i can become the true and better me.

chaaapter threee!!!

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 18:41:11 GMT

How Does it Feel? Chapter 3

Rating: some kissy kissy stuff, PG – 15

Warnings: Spoilers for basically everything

Pairings: Jack/Ianto referred to CONTAINS OMC

Disclaimer: Not mine, T-T

Summary: What do you do with a problem like Daniel?

previously on TORCHWOOD:

The boy that the team found at a New England boarding school turned out to have been controlling their emotions and once, Jack found this out he barged into Ianto’s apartment (where the boy was spending the night) and shot the boy

“JACK!!!” Ianto’s eyes were as big as saucers. The look on his face reminded Jack bitterly of the last time he’d shot someone Ianto shared a bed with. Ianto couldn’t move. His eyes shot from Jack’s quaking gun hand to the scorched hole in Daniel’s blanket. Daniel just looked slightly miffed.

“Jack!” He scolded, obviously angry, but not in any apparent pain. He pulled off the blanket, and his torso below showed no sign of injury. Both Jack and Ianto’s eyes grew even larger. “You made a hole in my bankie!” Daniel pouted up at Jack, then laid his hand over the blanket. After a moment, and a slight buzz of electricity in the air, he removed it, and the blanket was as good as new. “And in poor Ianto’s bed too. Jeez! What were you thinking?” The boy turned around and placed his hand over the obvious hole in the bed beneath him. The air crackled once more, making the hair on the back of Jack’s neck stand on end. His still-raised gun hand quaked a little more. The bed was as good as new now, as well.

“Da.. Daniel?” Ianto stuttered, sliding away from the boy slightly. “What are you?” He looked hurt, betrayed, and absolutely terrified. He’d cried on this boy’s… or whatever he was… shoulder last night. He’d slept in the same bed. He trusted him, and didn’t know why. He was being used. Again.

“’Cause it’s obvious none of our tests are going to tell us.” Jack spat, steadying his gun once more, even though he knew it wouldn’t work on the boy. Even if it didn’t protect him, he felt a little better knowing he was at least attempting to protect his Ianto.

Daniel sighed.

“I’m human; you don’t need to worry about that.” He sat up in bed a little more, and crossed his legs. He looked so normal. His white tee too big, probably given to him by Ianto for the night, blue plaid boxers beginning to ride up a little from sleep and movement. His hair was disheveled - one giant cowlick in the back and scruffily curly in the front. He looked as normal as any person could be. But if he were normal, he’d be dead.

“Then why can you heal so fast?” Jack asked, a little rhetorically, as he changed his stance a little to afford for keeping aim for a while; this conversation might last too long for comfort.

“I don’t actually heal that fast. That bullet didn’t hit me. It just kind of… moved out of the way. It’s hard to describe.” He shrugged and Ianto flinched at his sudden movement. Daniel looked at the frightened man for a moment, and Ianto’s expression turned from fear to steel-plated bravery in an instant. Daniel’s face fell, sudden remorse showing on his young features. “You don’t have to sit next to me if you don’t want. I’m not going to keep you here.” At that Ianto quickly slipped out of the bed, wrapping a blanket around himself for decency. He hated being shirtless while scared shitless. “And come on, Jack. There’s really no need to point that at me. You know shooting me won’t work.” Daniel tipped his head towards the gun. “And really, it’s not making you feel that much safer at this point.” Jack didn’t move for a moment. Then figured the boy was right and lowered the gun. Ianto looked at him like he was crazy.

“Fine, but you have to tell us everything about you.” Jack’s voice was a little softer. It was almost as if he could somehow understand this boy.

“Okay, I don’t mind that. Do you want me to start now or do it in the morning when the others arrive in the hub?” Daniel was so normal about all of this. It was like he was asking a teacher when he could hand in a late homework assignment. Ianto couldn’t fathom having something so strange be so commonplace. Despite how many strange things Torchwood bumped into, they always seemed amazing and horrifying and a little un-real. Never once would Ianto be able to treat Weevil hunting like grocery shopping.

“Um… can you guarantee that you won’t kill us tonight or something?” Jack began to fish around a little bit, not entirely sure what to do. Surprisingly, he’d never encountered anything like this. Maybe some similar powers on an alien life form, but he wasn’t sure how to deal with a human that had them.

“Ha! Don’t be silly. Why would I kill any of you? You guys already hurt enough…” His face fell again as his eyes mournfully looked from Jack to Ianto. “And I mean, I couldn’t even kill you Jack. So what would be the point? Besides, dead people are no fun.” He flashed a little smile. Nodding, he bounded up, pulling the covers off and hopping out of bed. Jack raised his gun instinctively again, and Daniel rolled his eyes at the man. “SO! To the Hub? Let’s let Ianto get some sleep, he’s been having bad dreams.” Daniel raised his eyebrows and tilted his head towards Ianto. Jack got a worried look on his face and turned his head towards his loved one.

“You are? I thought you were going to tell me if they started up again!” Ianto looked ashamed, then shook himself out of it.

“Jack. We’ve still got some sort of unidentified creature in the room with us who can obviously control our emotions.” Ianto glared at Daniel who got a sheepish look on his face and rubbed his toe into the carpet.

“I only did it cause you guys are all so sad!” He pouted up at them and they both had to admit… He was adorable. Adorable and able to not be hit by bullets.

“Riiiight, okay, Ianto: You get some sleep, and come in tomorrow ready to deal with this. And I want to hear about this dream later, okay?” Jack squeezed Ianto’s arm before sending him back to bed. Glaring at Daniel for a moment, he walked out of the room. Daniel gathered up his teddy and blanket, kneeling in front of his bag in the living room, pushing them inside after removing a pair of jeans. “Hey, are those the same you wore yesterday?” Jack asked, looking quizzically at the pants as Daniel put them on.

“No, these are different.” Daniel said offhandedly, a little distracted as his fly got stuck on his boxers. He got them unstuck and buttoned them up with an accomplished smile.

“Jeez, how much stuff can you fit in that bag? Isn’t it full of text books?” Jack looked quizzically at the bag next, and picked it up, surprised by how little it weighed.

“Oh, I can pull whatever I want out of there.” Daniel nodded and Jack’s eyes went wide. He dropped the bag as if he was afraid it would bite him. “Oh come on, it’s just an ordinary bag. I just think it’s easier to pull stuff out of somewhere rather than making it appear for no apparent reason.” Daniel picked up the bag and slung it over his shoulder. Putting a hand on his hip, he glared at the captain.

Jack just sighed and rolled his eyes. You learn something new every day, he supposed. They walked out of the apartment and Jack locked the door behind them. As they walked down the hallway, Daniel’s shoes made soft tapping noises from just behind Jack. This made Jack very nervous, as he couldn’t see the boy, but knew he was there. He knew how to fix that. Bucking up his courage, he stopped for a moment to let the boy catch up to him and threw an arm over his shoulder, making sure Daniel walked beside him the rest of the way to the car.

The boy looked small in the front seat of the SUV; buckling himself in, the belt pressed against his neck and he had to pull it down so it didn’t rub. He settled back in the seat and held onto the armrests, well aware of Jack’s driving “skills.” As they lurched forward he held on tight and grinned to himself, as did Jack, a little twinkle of boyish joy flashed in his eye for just a moment before he remembered who is in the seat beside him. Suddenly, he became silent, even in his body language.

“It still seems weird…” Daniel muttered to himself.

“So your powers freak you out too?” Jack asked, sympathetically.

“Sometimes, but that’s not what I was talking about.” Daniel let his head flop back against the seat, looking over at Jack.

“Then what?” Jack said, glancing over at the boy.

“How you people drive on the wrong side of the road.” The boy grinned at him and Jack laughed. Maybe this boy wasn’t such a huge threat any way. Sure he had weird powers… but so did Jack. Is being immortal much different that what Daniel had shown them so far? Maybe Daniel was like him, just someone lost and looking for a companion.

“You’ll find him, you know. He doesn’t have all the answers, nobody does, but he’ll help. I’m sure of it.” The boy’s voice seemed different, older. Jack looked over at him skeptically and the boy was staring at him, eyes wide, and pupils huge.

“Who?” Jack asked. There was no way the boy could know about the Doctor.

“The person you’re waiting for of course.” Daniel was back to normal, or whatever normal was for him. His boyish voice returned, with it’s little lilt as he looked forward again.

Jack had nothing to say to this. He’d never met anyone who could read his mind easily, and without him noticing, before. He hadn’t even felt the boy in his mind. That’s the only way he could know about the Doctor. There was even more to this boy than he’d seen. He had no idea where this seemingly normal child’s powers ended.

***

Back at the hub, Daniel looked around, putting his stuff on the couch. Jack was walking up the stairs to his office, running a hand through his hair. He turned around.

“I don’t suppose putting you in one of the cells would do anything…” He speculated. Daniel shook his head and grinned. “Do you mind sleeping on the couch?” Jack asked and Daniel just looked up at him, not moving. “You want to spend the night with me?” Jack asked, a little exasperated. Daniel nodded, smiling. “Is there anything I can do to change your mind?” Daniel shook his head emphatically, grinning form ear to ear, his long bangs swung back and forth crazily. Jack just sighed and continued walking up to his office. Daniel grinned and pulled his teddy and blanket out of his bag, following Jack hurriedly.

Climbing down into Jack’s hole, Daniel looked around, finding the cramped place somehow homey, even with its militaristic style and sparse furnishings. Jack was in the corner, next to a chest of drawers, removing his shirt and draping his clothes over a chair. Jack had never felt nervous about showing someone his body before, but somehow, this boy is different. He heard the boy unzip his pants, let them drop to the floor, and crawl into his bed, and he blushed. He even was a little ashamed as he removed his pants, getting ready for bed.

“Don’t worry, I’m not looking.” came Daniel’s muffled voice from the bed. Jack looked back, and in fact Daniel’s face was buried in his blanket as the boy’s body curled up under his sheets. Jack smiled softly as he finished getting ready. He crawled into the bed with the boy, and laid on his back, looking up at his ceiling, turning the lights out. He heard a small whimper come from Daniel as the lights went out, and felt arms wrap around his middle. He stiffened for a moment, but then relaxed as he realized that the boy was afraid of the dark.

“Do you want me to turn a light on?” he asked. He didn’t even know why he cared. This child pressed up against him, shivering with fear, was a captured specimen, after all. He should be locked up, right? He was dangerous, right?

Daniel shook his head slightly, and a soft light began to glow. The boy’s blanket was glowing, illuminating him slightly with a soft blue light. The area around them was visible, but not bright. When Jack closed his eyes, only a slight glow was visible through his eyelids.

“That’s a handy trick.” He said simply as he drifted off.

“Almost everything I can do is a handy trick, Jack.” Daniel sighed softly against Jack’s skin, nuzzling close as he began to drift off as well, the blanket keeping him warm with more than just its material. “Night Jack… sweet dreams. You’ll find him. I know you will.” And with that, they fell asleep.

***

Jack woke up and felt like he was missing a tooth, or his pants, or maybe a pillow. He felt like something should be in his arms; he could still feel the pressure and warmth that had been against his skin. “Daniel…” he sighed softly and opened his eyes. He wasn’t even scared any more. He was exasperated. This kid was more annoying than dangerous. Sitting up, he ran his fingers through his hair, trying to remember everything before he went up and started looking for their newest companion.

The air in the hub felt different as he climbed his ladder into the office. It was like the smell your mom’s kitchen gets when she bakes honey buns for breakfast. But it didn’t smell any different. It just had that slightly heavier, warmer, more wholesome feeling. He couldn’t help but take a deep breath and stretch once he reached his office. He looked around; hoping his job of finding the boy would be easy. And for once, it was. There was the boy, sitting at Ianto’s workstation, tapping away at the computer keys. He could be hacking mainframe and telling her to kill them all, but Jack seriously doubted it.

“Morning, Daniel.” He didn’t put any meaning into the words as he walked up behind the kid, laying his hand on Daniel’s shoulder.

“Morning. You’ve been horribly mistreating this creature, you know.” Daniel didn’t look up as he scanned through every single program they had mainframe running at remarkable speed.

“It’s just a computer Daniel, it’s ok.” Jack pulled up a chair and sat, watching the boy work.

“She’s not just a computer, and it’s not ok.” Daniel shut down a few programs that Jack had no idea were still running. “I can’t believe Ianto didn’t catch this. He takes such good care of her usually. He must have been really upset.” The boy’s voice sounds so far away as he typed hurriedly. “Jeez, I’m going to have to go down and take a look at her. She’s in serious pain. No wonder she told you guys to pick me up.” Daniel huffed and strode away, Jack looking at him in disbelief.

Daniel returned, wiping his hands on a towel a few minutes later. “Do you guys realize that she was rusting down there? The springs had started to leak into her chamber and-” Daniel was cut off by the door alarm going off as Ianto entered. “IANTO!” Daniel yelled to him and ran over, starting to complain at the drowsy man as he walked to the coffee station. Ianto didn’t respond, only looked as if a dark cloud had descended over him.

“How do you like your coffee?” He asked in the middle of Daniel’s rambling. Daniel froze for a moment.

“Oh, I don’t like coffee.”

Even Jack who was halfway up the stairs to his office turned, and stared at the boy. Pure horror was written all over Ianto’s face.

“There is no way you’re human…” Ianto muttered as he got to work fixing Jack’s epic coffee.

“What? So what if I don’t like coffee? I don’t like any hot drinks.” Daniel shrugged and smiled up at the older man. “I do love milk though. Did you know that it helps improve the connection between your neurons? Maybe that’s why I’m like this. Too much milk…”

“So you don’t know, either?” Ianto said casually, probing for information.

“Naw,” Daniel leaned back against the counter and chewed on a carrot. What? They didn’t have any carrots… oh yeah, weird making-things-appear powers. Right. “My mom’s a little clairvoyant and my dad’s a genius, and crazy, but beyond that, and the friends I’ve made along the way, there isn’t any real reason behind why I am the way I am.” He finished the carrot and suddenly the remains of it were gone.

“Are those things real? The ones you pull out of thin air?” Ianto was wiping Jack’s mug out with a damp towel. It was gigantic, easily twice the size of the others.

“Yeah, I don’t create them or anything. It’s kind of like having an invisible cupboard constantly beside you. I can pull anything from anywhere as long as I know where it is. It’s like teleportation via osmosis.” Daniel reached out and pulled a cup off the counter, from the other side of Ianto, while reaching in the opposite direction. “It’s really just making two different places into the same place. Once you understand it, it’s not that hard. You could do it if you believed you could.” Daniel pulled a gallon of milk out of thin air, and Ianto filled Jack’s mug. Daniel poured himself a glass of milk and put the gallon back. “Like, I couldn’t have pulled the glass of milk out of somewhere, cause the glass would have to be full, and I wouldn’t know where it was anyway. I could create a glass of milk, but that takes a lot of effort and it always tastes a little like blue cheese.” Daniel mused to himself. Ianto picked up Jack’s mug, hoping that the boy wouldn’t follow him up to Jack’s office. They hadn’t spent the night together, and Ianto needed a little alone time with his immortal lover. Daniel just smiled as Ianto walked away, closing his eyes and sighing at the feeling of love that radiated off of that pair. He walked over to the couch and lay down, preparing for the rush of sensory input he was about to get. He took a sip of cold milk and closed his eyes.

***

As Ianto reached Jack’s office, he could smell steam coming up from the manhole, signaling Jack’s shower. He placed the cup on his lover’s desk and straightened up a little, hanging the man’s coat, stacking files neatly, pushing his chair in, and putting away the bottle of whiskey. Soon enough, Jack emerged from his room, still buttoning his shirt, one brace still hanging by his thigh. His eyes rested on Ianto and walked calmly up to the man who was leaning against his desk. Without a word he wrapped an arm around the man and kissed him softly, letting him know he was safe and cared for.

“I was so worried last night.” He whispered against Ianto’s cheek, a hand sliding underneath his jacket. “Every time I come close to loosing you, my heart stops. You know I’d die eternally for you.” Jack held the slightly shorter man close. Ianto’s expression softened and he caressed Jack’s cheek tenderly.

“I would die for you too, Jack.” He said, barely above a whisper, feeling the weight of the statement rest on Jack’s shoulders, a settling weight.

“What are we going to do with the boy?” Jack changed the subject as he rested his forehead against his lover’s. Ianto’s fingers hooking around the base of his braces, holding him close.

“Well, I don’t suppose we’ll be able to do anything with him that he doesn’t want to be done with him… does that make sense?” Ianto’s speaking abilities always faltered when he was this close to Jack. Jack loved it; it was like he could see Ianto’s true self for those few moments.

“Mm, yeah.” Jack laid his forehead on the man’s shoulder, breathing in his scent. “We’ll learn everything we can from him, log him, keep track of him, then I suppose we’ll just send him back home.” The logical words were coming out of Jack’s mouth, but inside he could feel his barriers falling, safe within his lover’s arms, he could relax for a moment. He could breathe now, after holding everything tight to his chest for so long. He kissed Ianto’s neck softly, just above his shirt collar. He hoped he’d never forget the feeling of this love. Never in the millions of years he’d have to live. He would never let himself forget this.

He pulled back, too close to tears for the captain of this team to be. Ianto looked up at him sorrowfully and stroked his cheek softly, leaning in to kiss him for a moment. “I wish I could take away your pain…” Ianto sighed softly. Jack shook his head.

“Someone has to do this. Someone has got to. I have got to.” Jack smiled at Ianto softly, knowing that look on his beloved’s face. He could see the pure love shining through his skin. “Besides… I wouldn’t give you up for anything.” He smiled and leaned in to touch his lips to Ianto’s for a moment, thanking him for being there, always.

Pulling away slowly, Jack slid his hand down the length of Ianto’s torso, the silken fabric of his suit feeling warm with his body heat. He, without looking into the eyes of his lover, straightened the man’s tie and brushed off his shoulders. Ianto slowly cupped the older man’s chin, forcing him to look up into his eyes.

“I love you, Jack.” Ianto whispered, looking into Jack’s eyes, making sure he knew Ianto was telling the truth. “Never forget that.” And they kissed once more before Ianto slipped out and, with one look back, walked down the stairs to get to work.

***

Ianto stumbled upon Daniel as the boy sighed and opened his eyes. Sprawled out on the couch, the younger man smiled up at the butler. Some of the warmth that was in Ianto’s own heart showed through the boy’s eyes. Sitting up, Daniel took another sip of his milk and sighed.

“You really enjoy everything, don’t you?” Ianto said philosophically. He started tidying up Owen’s workstation / pigsty.

“I appreciate everything. Some things I don’t enjoy at all.” Daniel made a bitter face and stood, putting his glass on a side table and helped Ianto with the desks. Ianto looked up at the boy, and it didn’t feel strange at all to be talking like this, working together. It seemed like Daniel was a part of their lives, a warm and loving part, even though they had only known him for a day. It was like the boy was supposed to be working with them; it just felt right.

“So how long are you planning on staying with us?” Ianto asked casually. Usually it wasn’t up to the captured specimens to decide how long they were staying. But, again, with the lack of normality of this situation one couldn’t really ask any silly questions.

“I suppose I shouldn’t miss too much school. My parents will have started to worry about me and my mom is probably driving the police up the wall with her incessant phone calls. In fact, she’s probably already in contact with UNIT and complaining about the policies of secret organizations. She’ll yell at me when I get back though, so I don’t want to go yet. My dad’s probably just getting grumpier and eating lots of bacon.” Ianto stared at Daniel as he came to this conclusion. What a strange life… “Garreth is probably giving the pod lectures about how we’re not supposed to get involved with the organizations that the governments have running. Also, Zack’s probably breeding hamsters and wondering when he’ll get kidnapped by someone, cause usually this kind of stuff happens to him not me. Oh, and Mattias is probably wondering if I can mail him from wherever I am, and fussing over my safety. Speaking of which…” Daniel sat down at one of the workstations and started typing out an email detailing where he was and emphasizing the fact that he was okay.

“Wait a minute!” Ianto stopped him. “You can’t tell anyone about this place. It’s a secret base!” Daniel scrunched up his mouth to the side and edited some details out of his email.

“Okay. No secrets now.” He smiled up at the man and pressed ‘send.’ “But a group of probably fifty people or so already know everything I’ve seen here so far. But don’t worry. You can trust them, they’re a secret organization too, so they know the drill.” The boy smiled up at Ianto’s shocked expression.

“Bloody hell, you’re life is weirder than mine is, and you’re only what? Fifteen?” Ianto muttered under his breath. Daniel grinned and nodded emphatically.

Ianto’s feelings were mixed. Part of him wanted to just shoot the boy, catalogue him and keep his memory in the archives like most of the other aliens. Another part of him was attached, oddly, to this boy. He really cared, and so far all he had done was try to make the team feel better. He had even helped Ianto more than even Jack could. Ianto felt truly free of his “rats” for the first time that day. However. The strongest feeling within him was that of curiosity, and it was all the prim and tidy man could do to suppress his thousands of questions until the rest of the team arrived.

Thanks much! I hope the delay wasn’t too awful and please, if there are issues, comment. I had trouble with convincing the form that I did, in fact, want paragraphs in my story… ~grunt~ oh well! Have fun!

chapter twoooo (HDIF)

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 18:16:14 GMT

How Does it Feel?

Chapter 2
Rating: PG-13 for reference to Janto
Warnings: Spoilers for basically everything
Pairings: Jack/Ianto referred to CONTAINS OMC
Disclaimer: Not mine, T-T
Summary: The team is beginning to realize...something is wrong.
Thank you Joey for the comment, it is very much appreciated.
Also, gratzee to my awesome beta Digital_flowers

/// Previously, on TORCHWOOD ///
(http://avayanox.livejournal.com/992.html)
The team has been alerted to an intriguing presence in America by Mainframe. Upon picking up a rater normal boy (by the name of Daniel) from a New England prep school they fly directly back to the Hub. Along the way they talk to the boy and his outstanding normalcy strikes them all as a bit strange. Owen checks him out and to their surprise, he is healthy, normal, and human. Now...

Jack was having a restless night. Normally this would be because he was fretting about the Doctor, the Darkness, the Sorrows of Immortality, work, play - any number of things. All those things were normal. Jack was fretting because some things seemed to be quite abnormal.

The first was quite obvious: Ianto wasn’t in his bed. Usually, the sweet man would be beside him, arms and legs tangled together, breath exchanged in urgent kisses until he couldn’t tell where he began and his lover ended. When he lost himself like that, nothing could hurt him. He wasn’t strange any more; He was just part of Ianto. But tonight, his other half was missing.

Ianto had actually gone to his own apartment that night. With Daniel. The man seemed to have developed an awkward affection towards the boy and Jack could do nothing about it. When it was time to go home, Jack had told Ianto to put Daniel in one of the cells. Ianto had refused. Flatly. That one round word still rang in Jack’s head.

No.

Ianto had insisted on taking Daniel home with him, to give him a decent place to sleep, or so he said. He didn’t catch it, but Daniel stuck his tongue out at Jack as they were leaving.

No one ever chose someone else over Jack. He was shocked.

***

In Ianto’s apartment Daniel stirred fitfully as well. He was on the older man’s couch, curled up under a worn, but still very clean and lint-free, afghan. Finally, he opened his eyes in exasperation and folded the afghan neatly over the back of the couch. He reached into his backpack, searching around amongst his textbooks, finally pulling out a fuzzy green blanket and a teddy bear. Climbing back onto the couch, he curled up in the blanket with the bear held close to his chest, and fell asleep without further struggle.

Ianto, on the other hand, had no teddy to pull out that would make him sleep easier. The only thing he cuddled with was Jack… and Jack was not present. The man lay on his back, eyes trained up at his ceiling as the lights and sounds of Cardiff attempted to find a way through his curtains.

He rolled over, closing his eyes, attempting to get the nagging feeling to leave him alone. Somewhere in his mind, something was out of sorts. It was like those days where you know something is wrong, but you don’t know what until your realize your shirt’s on inside out. But those days never happened to Ianto.

Still, something was amiss.

***

Jack’s mind was still racing, thinking of all the things that were peculiar. If Owen was right, and there was nothing interesting about Daniel, then how come Mainframe’s systems said that they needed to go pick him up? They hadn’t seen him do anything strange besides look at all of them as if they were some sort of experiment. Jack couldn’t think of anything abnormal about this child, which was abnormal in itself. No one “normal” could ever be associated with Torchwood. Not even Gwen was normal, and she was there to bring some sense of normal values to the team.

No.

He had to figure out what was up with this kid. Why did his mind keep slipping away from this subject? Why couldn’t he concentrate?

***

Ianto was surrounded by metal, fiery burning metal that seared his skin every time he moved. His eyes were pried open, and there was Lisa, his sweet Lisa, looking down at him… with metal eyes. Softly she said, over and over “We can be better, together.”
As she slowly cut pieces of him off. His skin, peeled back, his face cut open, his arms sliced in two until he knew nothing but pain. She smiled down at him and leaned in, about to kiss him.

And he woke up. Jolting upright he threw his sheets aside, the hot sweat still clinging to his skin, his pulse beating in his head as he slowly remembered where he was. His bed. Lisa was gone.

The burning pain faded, only to be replaced by that dull ache he knew would never go away. Those rats, constantly gnawing at him, eating him from the inside out. He knew they would never die. He would never get her back.

“Ianto?” A small voice came from his doorway. Daniel, wrapped in his green blanket, clutching his teddy bear close, slowly walked up to Ianto’s bed. “I’m sorry.” The little boy crawled up onto Ianto’s bed and wrapped his arms around the larger man. Ianto was still distraught from the dream, and as the boy’s arms encircled him he felt all his barriers fall. All his sorrow rushed to the surface and he cried.

Even after Lisa had died, he had not cried like this. He hadn’t had time to mourn. There was always more work to be done. But somehow, he could cry now. There was time. He sobbed into the boy’s shoulder, clutching him close as he choked and yelled, cursing Jack, himself, the world. He cursed and screamed and sobbed until he couldn’t sit up any longer. Gentle hands laid him down and soothing arms wrapped around him. The soft blanket Daniel had was pulled up to their necks and Daniel’s head laid on his shoulder as the teddy bear was pulled up to cuddle with them too. Ianto closed his eyes, and with one arm around the child he sighed, and fell deep into sleep.

***

Jack was becoming more and more alert as he thought about this problem, no longer fitfully sleeping, but genuinely contemplating. And his heart was beginning to beat faster. Something about this boy was dangerous. Something was harmful. He needed to know what. But he couldn’t THINK. Every thought in his head spawned eight others that had no relevance to the boy.

Until.

Retcon. The word ‘Retcon’ popped into Jack’s head. He thought vaguely that they should Retcon Daniel. Ianto had told him about Torchwood in the car. Wait, what? Ianto had… isn’t that against protocol? Jack knows that. Jack would never let something that simple slip. But he remembered, it seemed natural at the time. Of course Daniel should know. Daniel could know anything… he… wanted… Oh God. Jack had figured out what was so dangerous about Daniel. Somehow, he had gotten them to accept them. He got them to tell him things. He could control them.

Jack shot out of bed.

“Ianto!”

***

    Jack smashed the door in with one work-boot clad foot, flailing his gun about, horrid images of what the boy could be doing to Ianto flashing through his head. Dashing back to his lover’s bedroom, he smashed that door down, too. The sight that he found brought nothing but horror to his quivering heart. There was his beloved, wrapped in green tentacles; the child had two heads, one of which was about to cut his lover’s life short with a harsh bite.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Jack bellowed his protest and fired.

Time didn’t stop. There was no dramatic pause. Only the smell of burnt sulfur and Ianto’s frightened face. Daniel was frozen mid-yawn, arms quaking slightly in the confines of his warm blanket. The blanket, just above the boy’s chest had a hole torn in it, and as the boy looked down, Jack realized what he had done. He’d shot the boy, a boy holding a teddy bear and wrapped in a green blanket.

He’d killed the child.

.
(Chapter three is almost done, comment plix <3)
~caz

The first chapter... OH NOES!!!

Fri, 30 May 2008 02:28:21 GMT

~~~ This is not a crossover, the Guardians is not another TV show/ book / whatever. They’re a part of the story; so don’t give up in the first paragraph, kk?
This is a torchwood fic, and despite how much I would /like/ to own those hotties, un unfortunately doesn’t work that way. So! Unless someone wants me to pay me for this, I’m so not making any money off it *pout*.
So yeah, gay sex and all that. Ianto/Jack/OMC….
Uhm…. What else… oh yeah, there’s some SERIOUS teenage anxt being worked out with this one, so it gets kind of creepy at times.

How does it feel?

His head was resting on his arm, eyes vaguely studying his teacher from behind glasses, looking over the frames, obviously bored. His eyes were glazed, and any onlooker could tell that he was only vaguely absorbing what the teacher said. Meanwhile, all he could think was: ‘I really don’t understand why she won’t let on that she’s a Guardian. I mean… she’s been hinting at it for months now. She practically recited their oath during class one day. Besides she ASKED me who I thought were the “Guardians of Knowledge” it can’t get much more obvious than that.’
But he was interrupted.

By swing.

His eyes perked up, ears pulling back as he sat upright in his chair. He knew no one else could hear the music. It was the odd echo that he heard, the reverberation, the tone associated with unheard things; that was what alerted him to it.
“Someone special is coming.” The classroom stopped dead. The teacher looked quizzically at him. He stood, and started packing his bag. “Ma’am, please tell Master Garreth, pod 36, and Mattias if anything strange happens-“
With a loud BANG the door to the classroom burst open, a man in a long greatcoat came rushing in, brandishing a gun, shortly followed by four others. A small Asian woman came up behind him with a beeping device and quickly informed the first man. “There, the one that’s standing.”
There was a moment where they all just looked at the boy. He was smiling. Pleasantly, a little amused. He had short hair, bangs longer covering his face on one side, taking off his glasses he smiled, a girlish face looking out at them.
“Well… you guys certainly are interesting.” He put his glasses in their case and packed it up, zipping up his backpack.
“He doesn’t look alien to me, Jack.” The small, sharp looking man beside the first said.
“Alien? Hardly!” The boy laughed. Bowing slightly he continued, “My name is Daniel, what can I do for you.”
Lowering his weapon slowly, the first man answered, “You can come with us.”
“That sounds like a reasonable start,” the boy picked up his bag, hefting it over his shoulder, then picking up his computer case, stepped over to the group, all guns suddenly pointing at him. He looked at the guns, then at the people holding them. “and why on earth do you keep pointing those guns at me? I mean really.” He stepped into their group, into the doorway then looked back at his shocked classmates. “Bye guys, I’ll see y’all later. Mrs. Keenan? Please don’t let Garreth or the pod get the impression that I’m in need of rescuing or something. This should be fun!” He flashed a dazzling smile and then looked up at his ‘captors’, “shall we?” He suggested, and with a startled look, they were off.

The group led him outside and as they walked along the parking lot, he looked at each one intently, studying them it seemed. They were aware of this, and it made them a little bit less than comfortable, as usually they were the ones doing the studying.
“Ianto, put him in the cage.” The first one ordered and an impeccably groomed man in a suit responded with a nod. He took Daniel by the shoulder and led him to the back of a large oddly-shaped SUV that was parked at the end of the lot. He opened the back and inside there was a metal cage with some flashing lights on either side.
“I’m sorry, but we have to put you in for security reasons.” Said the man in a beautiful welsh accent as he took the boy’s bags and placed them in the cage before helping the boy up.
“It’s all right, I understand perfectly.” The boys compliance and response shocked the Welshman for a moment before he closed the cage, making sure it flashed red saying that it was locked. The whole team piled into the SUV, the first man who came into the room driving, while the pointy one road shotgun and the two women sat with the Welshman between them in the back. Daniel took off his polarfleece jacket and sat on it, stretching out while leaning against the side of the cage, watching the team again. They really struck him as interesting. They weren’t particularly threatening, but VERY intriguing.
“I’m Ianto by the way,” the Welshman said as he turned to look back at Daniel through the grating of the cage. “This is Toshiko and Gwen, and in the front there’s Owen, and Jack.” The driver threw up a wave as his name was mentioned.
“Nice to meet you all. However I was wondering something.” Ianto looked at him expectantly. “Who are you people?”
“Torchwood.” They all answered in unison. Daniel sat back again.
“Oh, ok. That explains everything.” His sarcasm was positively palpable. That made Ianto smile slightly.
“We monitor a rift in time and space that happens to sit right under Cardiff and pick up any space junk that washes through.” He was very matter-of-fact about it.
“So you’re interstellar litter collectors. Cool.” There was a pause. “So why’d you come after me? I didn’t come through any rift, and I haven’t got any alien tech, so watcha want? We’re not even in Europe, this is New England for heaven’s sakes.” The boy seemed to be slowly developing a Welsh accent as they drove.
“Well, we detected something out of the ordinary, and nothing much seemed to be happening with the rift, so we decided to take a vacation and come out here.” The woman the Welshman had referred to as Gwen spoke up. Her accent was even thicker than Ianto’s.
“Oh. Ok then.” The boy smiled and lay back, closing his eyes. “So where are we going?”
“Cardiff.” The man named Jack said. He was distinctly American in his speaking, which seemed strange, even to Daniel.

A few hours and a private jet later, they were approaching Cardiff. Ianto was sitting next to Daniel, who was yet again, in a cage. They were chatting about all sorts of oddly mundane things despite the fact that Ianto had so many questions to ask. For once, Ianto was putting work after play and was actually enjoying his conversation with Daniel.
“So, what does your shirt say?” Ianto asked, and Daniel pulled open his polarfleece again to show him. ‘And god said (a lot of quantum physics-type notation), and there was light.’ Was what it read. “Ha! That’s very nice.”
“Thanks, I’ve got a lot of shirts like this. I suppose I spend too much time in the MIT store.” The boy flashed a grin that Ianto could help but respond to with one of his own. There was just something perfectly charismatic about this creature.
“Oh, and I’m sorry we couldn’t go back to your house and get some clothes and things. Procedure dictates we have to go back to the hub directly after any capture.” Ianto apologized.
“It’s quite all right, I am quite capable of making due. See?” He opened his backpack and pulled out a shirt and a pair of pants after a little bit of rummaging.
“Well! That’s a handy trick!” Jack said from his seat and the both looked up at him as he walked over.
“I’m at school all day every day. You never know when you might need more clothes.” Daniel said, almost defensively.
Jack sat with them and there was a short silence while Daniel put the clothes away and zipped up his backpack again.
“You should probably buckle up, we’ll be descending soon. Ianto, come up here with me?” Jack ordered Ianto again. It was phrased like a question. But you knew that “no” was not an ok answer. Daniel put his seatbelt on and sat back as Jack and Ianto went up to the front of the little plane. His eyes caught on Owen, the sharp little man, as he was looking longingly out the window. The despair of that man caught Daniel like a punch to the gut and he could not look away. That man’s eyes looked out into the sky with such desperate hope that Daniel knew he had lost something very dear to him in these clouds.
But as Ianto and Jack walked past the little man, the spell was broken and he looked away, embarrassed. Daniel saw Ianto’s hand rest on his shoulder reassuringly for just a moment, and then it was gone. And the poor man was alone again.
Daniel closed his eyes and tried to sleep, blocking the man’s sorrow from his mind.

“You shouldn’t hang around him like that Yan, we don’t even know what he is yet.” Jack said in a hushed voice.
“I know Jack, but he doesn’t seem like he’d hurt any of us. I mean, he’s just a boy. Granted, he seems a little strange, but nothing compared to what we’ve dealt with before.” Ianto looked pleadingly at Jack, holding his hand gently, out of view of the team.
Jack looked back at the boy, who seemed to be desperately trying to sleep. “All right,” he said with a sigh, “but don’t get attached to him. He’s not ours to keep.” Ianto was looking back at the boy too now, until his face was turned back towards Jack’s with a single finger along his chin. “And you’re mine.” Jack had fire in his eyes as he looked into Ianto’s. Suddenly all the moments of passion they’d had flashed through their minds and it took all their strength to keep their lips from colliding right then and there.
Daniel awoke with a start and a slight yelp. Eyes wide. Everyone looked back at him, and he blushed curling up again and covering his face in embarrassment.
“We really need to figure him out.” Jack said and all Ianto had to do was nod.

They entered the Hub via the tourist office. Ianto and Owen flanked Daniel as Jack strode into the large room and the girls fluttered about. Daniel felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Ianto smiling down at him. He smiled back at the Welshman and felt just a little bit of warmth from him.
“Ianto! Owen! Get that kid checked out. I want to know whatever set off the sensors.” And the man disappeared into his office. Ianto raised his eyebrows at Daniel and the boy giggled and followed Owen to the autopsy bay.
After having ridiculous amounts of blood drawn, every test under the sun done, and being poked and prodded and beeped at by every colored device he could think of, Owen pronounced him normal. The only thing different about him was a slightly above-average IQ and scoring an A on the psychic tests. Oh, and the part of his brain that senses pain seemed to be particularly active. Ianto asked him if he was hurt and the kid just responded with a shrug and a shake of the head. There wasn’t anything extraordinary, anything wrong, anything special about this boy.
That was strange.

No, there couldn’t be anything strange about this kid… not at all.

part.... two?
http://avayanox.livejournal.com/1364.html
*evil laughter*

yah ok

Fri, 30 May 2008 02:19:06 GMT

so
i'm a fic!nerd and a psy!nerd and a TON of other things so basically thi'll be my dumping grounds for a while while i spy on my teachers and read LOTS of fan ficlettes.

so while i'm rediculously bored and trying to get over my writers block, i may lurk arround here for a while. oh.... and yeah.... i should get a slave to bata my thoughts for me so i don't end up with so many squiggly red lines *glares at the squiggly red lines* dumb.

TTYL!! MUCH LOVE!!
<3
caz